Francois

I finished my first French language novel!!! To celebrate it, I chose Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet theme to the background for that proposal scene required for any good book. That made me smile! The first book wasn't Camus, Proust or even Moliere, French lit is hard enough in Finnish. The book was Persuasion, by Jane Austen. I'm not apologising my choise; it would've been too hard to read totally new book, altough it would have been better not to have known every line by heart... This way I started reading English books, the first one was Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey. The second reason was the small French section of our library. Final was the subject. Damn if I gonna read a stupid book! That's why I started translating 4 years ago, and still going, Virgil's Dido and Aeneis instead of Cicero's some stupid prosal thingy. I rather read difficult but interesting than easy and boring.



I've been ill, annoying almost ill but not quite. This weekend I've been lying in bed, hopefully next week I'm alright. But it hasn't prevented of being nice weekend. Yesterday, was quite fantastic. I had dreamed in the night about 3 boys, in separate dreams of course, what were you thinking?! Knowing that it's not difficult to guess how I spent my day, especially when I had seen, by change, in the morning a programme the Cup, in which a football team gets a new coach, one Emmanuel Leconte.
Le Roi Francois 1er de France dans ma tête tout le jour et la nuit, oui!



And one thing I was thinking in a toilet today, while I was washing my hands, what were you thinking?! It came to my mind that I'm actually quite innocent, in a good way. I remembered how I jumped to my knees and grinned like a mad person, when I read the final chapter of Persuasion and thought, that I don't think my mother would have done the same. Actually, if I had been in love, broken hearted, in love, broken hearted again and again, and finally been living with a guy a few years and now having a baby, like so many at my age, I don't think I would've done that. You may be happy and smiling after a good result, but you would've seen so much that it wouldn't turn your life so much. So even if I'm unexperienced to the desperation I still have that innocence what gives me drive to find my own. I've noticed before, that when I smile, I do it to the max. My sister, usually she just smiles, you can rarely see even her teeth. I often wonder does she think things are funny, is she only pretending? My granmom or somebody once said that when I was little I was always laughing but now I'm only quiet. After that I've tried to find that side back. But anyway, if you like something I don't see the point in playing it down. My sister says she hates public showing of love, like hugging and kissing. I think the world is awful place enough without knowingly supressing happiness.