The pillerist

I had the great problem of what to start studying. Well, I made the decision based on the amount of culture in curriculums, and the answer was italian. Sad, because I've always wanted to learn french, but I think I've got better changes to get in Rome than in Paris to do my apprendiceship. For France I should start art history as well. Not that I wouldn't like it, but I just don't have time. For some stupid reason both languages want us to study nearly all basic studies during autumn (like 22 from 25 etcs). Besides italian started to intrigue me more and more. Well, the entrance exam is 2 weeks from now, we'll know more after that.

Right now the biggest problem is that again I can't turm my head to the right. I was stupid enough to Play flute crouching in a chair, after which I looked at a fly in the window.
Hope it'll be okay by wednesday. I finally asked a doctor's appointment to get some beta blockers for my body, because this is getting ridiculous. I got only 400€ on my account, so I got to find work asap. And that's where pills come in. I've always sworen that I won't tough pills, but then again that's what's what I said about bank loans... Hopefully I will get better and find my life again. It's really awful to be a prison of a body. I just have to keep quiet about it, or else the doctor refuses pills and sends me to a shrink.

I've been reading Agatha Christie's Moving Finger, whis I think is the best novel of her's. The trick is that it's in italian, I bought it from Rome. I do with it the same proven technique that has worked with English, French and Swedish; the first book in a foreign language should be so familiar in my own language so that I don't get lost.
I like the book because the story is ( in my mind) that a handsome, clever man sees an ackward, out-of-place girl who looks younger than her age, and falls in love with her in any case. Of course she's not tall and dark but small and blonde, what are you thinking?!!

The pictures are our small lambs. We had them 11, but one unfortunately died.

BD girl

Gianicolo e Lante

Today was my birthday. I celebrated it with no school work. I also enjoyed some mint and chocolate liqueur, and now I feel little odd. I had lunch with a friend and came home to finally organise the Rome pictures to internet for other course members to see. I also finalised the music video (yes, I make a lot of videos) of Barcelona, it's not been long, 9 months...


Tivoli

So all in all, it's been nice enough a birthday. Usually I'm really depressed, but last night I listened some songs, Take On Me and Power of Love and watched scenes from Back to the Future and Breakfust Club, and understood that maybe my birthday year wasn't so bad after all. And it's finally snow here! People are talking of -16c, I'm not believing it, because I haven't been cold. I finally can use my beautiful winter clothes, like white coat and knee high high heel boots.


Terracina

Tomorrow starts school, and I've desided to finally do some proper work. I would like to get at least Batchelor's degree before summer. But maybe I have a little too much work on my plate, well we'll see. Maybe this is the only way to get work. No way of getting a job if I have time to do it, apparently...


Pompeii

Tomorrow, spanish, french oral (if I find the courage), library to get some books to look the covers, trying to plan student union meeting (yes, I prepare to be the worst president ever, but I didn't vote for me), and grocery store would be nice enough, I'm a wee bit hungry...
And for the end, here's some Italy pictures:


Subiaco

Christmassy

Christmas blog starting...
Once more Christmas is over. Three fighting filled days with four days trying to forget the anger so that people don't blame me for ruining christmas (2 years ago 7 days of fighting, not funny at all, although I was right!). Why the fight? The same reason that all fights after I came back from Rome; the DVD player that my mom refuses to fix and doesn't let me fix either, and that bloody book researche thingy! After yelling my mother finally took the player to the shop, from where a new one will possibly come ib 2 weeks. That's quite brilliant because someone in this building has started to watch internet tv and mine works now only before 1pm. Only problem is that I'm in Turku, and I won't go home to get the player before summer. About the book, mother swore about information she had found from the archives. I wanted to make sure because, because she's really smart, she hadn't marked the archive numbers to the notes. Well, there wasn't any information, my mom can't read apparently. Luckily I was able to make a fool out of "her" by yelling in the middle of the office!



That wasn't my real reason here. The real was that I watched Skins season4. Just now I finished the last 2 episodes, and trying not to make spoilers, I was shocked. I keep repeating What the fuck, ans I don't understand. How can you end a season like that?!! What makes it worse is that now they show the 5th season with totally different cast. Cunts. Buut anyways, I've been wondering Freddie. For some reason he looks to me Indian(?!) but as the wikipedia (and surname) tells us he's Italian. Weird... One reason may be his sister, who looks Indian to me. Well actually she's partly Filipino. My race radar seems to be as rotten as my famous gay radar. A guy can go to gay parade and see Lady Gaga, and take us to the best gay club in town, and still be just a little eccentric heterosexual art historian, right?



I was a little worried about the DVD player, because I was sort of worried I would get a DVD for present. I had been raving over the 2002 Count of Monte Christo and just a week before Christmas over 3rd season of Robin Hood. Well, as it turned out, my fears didn't come true. I got a stresstoy cranate, which is awful. I pressed it once and it drome me grazy! I estimate it to have a lifespan of one week before I tear it to pieces with my teeth. Then I got decoration lamps to my window. Good because I only had three before. (Electric pollution!). But I guess I can't complain, I gave everyone underpants.

Amentes illi romani

The final week in Italy: not happy at all!
I haven't written the whole time I've been here, not this blog, not reports, not essays, nothing. This really is hard work! First we go around town and its museums until 2pm, after which we, news in town, go round churches and galleries by ourselves, of course, we only have four weeks to understand the whole of Rome. Then we sit in the kitchen until it's time to go to sleep... Only thing I've found time to do is my presentations, which in truth I did already in Finland. Now, finally they are ready to print (well, not really, but I'm sick and tired of them). Onlything left is Pompeii and my final presentation on the subject I know nothing about but my audience sure does, and final exam.

Forst impressions of Rome were something like this: hot, soo hot! Coming from +5c of Finland, I really wanted to be in my bikinis (or bras in the absense of bikinis). +34c at 4pm! Gosh! But now of course it's freeking freezing, two pairs of wollen shirts and socks on. Apparently they haven't heard of triple or even double windows in here, btw Scotland has the same problem... The next remark, ok so the hostel's luggage safe is bar lounge's back behind a tree. So maybe I'll take my computer with me to town. And yes, I finally got myself a hostel, apparently I had been putting the wrong security number.

What I also found out the first day was the lack of logic with the streets. I bet there wasn't a single turn where I missed the wrong one. Well, at least I found my premier object, Borghese park, and in the search of a grocery store on my way to the hostel I found the Spanish steps (awfully slippery, marble is pretty but not very convenient, and Trevi fountains, the only fresh place in Rome. So I sat there for ages and appeared in hundreds of tourist pictures!

In spite warmings I didn't find bed bugs, meno male. And an other good thing, I was able to come to Rome on a train, altough it was the tourist overexpensive Leonardo express. On the next day it took me two hours to get to Villa Lante. First hour was a search of the right bus and the ticket mashine in Termini. Then I went into a panic when the bus went pass the Vittorio Emmanuelle monument and I left the bus at Largo Argentini, which I couldn't find in my map, altough it was there, and wen't to the nest bus and continues to the river. The change of the bus was strangely easy and, finally, I was on Gianicolo and Villa Lante. Obviously I got the northern window without the view and probably the coldest room in the whole of Rome!!!!! I need a 3rd pair of socks!!!

I'll continue maybe tomorrow my story here, now I'll return my new bought book Il Terrore Viene per Posto, aka. The Moving Finger by A. Christie. I must finnish it this week, because next, when I return, I have some catching up to do with French and Spanish. I have taken average 200 pictures per day, so in the future I'll download some of them here. Not now, for this has a shitty internet connection.

Hurricane Katia's prisonnier

I'm booored. No, I'm just sort of flowing. I haven't written in a long time. Frist reason was that at work, week before end, happenesd the worst accident, my greatest nightmare, and not to me, I was just there, it was pure accident, awful, awful... I'll never go there again. It was so horrible I couldn't write.

Then school started, and in 10 days I'll be going to Italy. Busy, busy... And once more, my friend stood me up. Luckily the new exchange student from Croatia seems nice. So I'm not as depressed as last year. I mean she hasn't gone out with me, but at least she wanted, before it started raining...
And the Italy, I really yelled to my mother today, and the week before, and before, because I'm really stressed. It messes out everything! We have one holiday week, and it's the week after I come back, so no help. And my computer is shit as always, today I finally ordered a shitty new one, I hope my logic of waiting worse, result better is still on...

And final breaking point was when they reminded today, remember to take your ISIC cards with almoust a smily face at the end. FUCK OFF! You order us to go to museums, it sure is your job to get us discounts. Why the fuck couldn't they've told that like 2 weeks before?... Cunts. So, it's not even a big problem, I've never needed it, but for some reason I went completely crazy. Like my whole life broke down because I don't have international student card. Oh my god, wow!



Now I'm supposed to write a letter in French. I was listening to Jacques Dutroc's Les Playboys and wrote a letter in that sense, but now I have a hard time to sent it to my teacher... God I'm an idiot.

Yesterday we went, my and my sister, to watch Midnight in Paris. It almoust didn't happen, we had again a fight about sematics, entertaining for the bookstore audience. But I had waited it for 5 hours and she ovbiously wanted to see something so we went. Oh my wet knickers! I fell in love with the trailer but it tells you nothing of the movie. The movie was straight from my heart, (except the dating of Pari's Golden Age...). It was full of cliché, but so fucking what? And the whole theatre almost shared my view, it was brilliant, Adrian Brody is a vision!
Go see it if you love Paris, go see it if you just want to see something, go see it even if you hate Woody Allen, like I do, but like Vicky Christine Barcelona, which was also amaizing. Only thing bad about it was the once more american view and american accent, but luckily it was so full of surprises that I forgot it. And of course the Golden age is Belle Époque, thank you.



Now I'm listening Angel in the Night on repeat, thank you and good night, except pictures I have to add here...

Crossroads

Things aren't going well at present, work sucks, it's boring, almost unpaid, and most of all not what I was promised. More over, I was given some extra work for the last week and I had to cancel almost all Erasmus students, even the french boy! More over, because of the Italy thing I had to cancel one course which now may be cancelled all together, and the courses that have the lectures at the time of Italy cannot be replaced. So things really blow. My mother just think God wants to test my want for Italy and that I must go there, even if every problem would be solved in staying here. I mean I can't even get work because I'm here only 3 weeks before Italy, and I only have like 500€ left...


Rauma Museum paperdoll exhibition, almost anatomical iron age hunter

And still my computer is at a breaking point and the DVD player doesn't like to work either. On a plus side, I saw the girl who has wanted to go to Rome a long time, and I had the pleasre to see her mad face when announcing my news!... But anyway, it has been so long since I've seen anyone that I'm quite happy now. I hope that she will get to museology so that I could have one friend more. She made a very brave decision to take a year off of journalist school. I envy her courage, even if she's quite depressed about it. I read her blog in which she complains how everything is going bad, how she's so depressed and goes to see therapist and how she meets everyday at least two diffrent groups of friends and have fun (and try to forget the bad things) and travel around Finland to see other friends... FUCK YOU! How dare anyone complain about bad things if one has friends as much as she does? My best friend is my sister with whom I meet once every 3 weeks and usually we fight. This girl is possibly my second best friend with whom I meet every 6 months when both are holding a little back, because our history...


Nice uniform for a little girl... Note, it's not a swastika, it's got "shorter arms"

Actually I was meant to write only good things today but it seems I failed... But at least that's over and done with. It seems that now I'm in a crossroads, I have no idea what will happen next, what ever decision I make there is nothing to show what the outcome might be, no idea... But all in all, it's quite relaxing, I can't predict the future, so I have no reason to be scared. Life will change, but who's to say it's a bad thing?

VADO A ROMA!!!

Today, just before 8pm I thought to myself I'd best to shut the computer for a change to cool down. But before I should check my fb. And, maybe I'll check my email as well, all though all the offices have closed at 3-4 and no one'll write to me on email. But, why not.

WHY NOT INDEED! There was lost of emails, impotence and so on, but in the middle there was two letters from the same person, and they said The Course on Classical Antiquity! Already by then I started to suspect the good news. I and there it was, my name last on a list of accepted students to the course in Rome! The second letter said, Congratulations, you have been accepted...!!!



Just today I was in despair about my wasted life, I applied to a cleaning firm and I wasn't even invited to an interview (I didn't know you needed to be a notary to be a cleaner). I was chosen, and I wasn't even lying on my application! Now I have july and august in Rauma doing work of my education (museum assistant) and september in Rome! That's going to ruin my international tutoring this year, but I won't complain!
I wen't roung the flat in a semi-squating jump steps for a while, and then I called my mom and sister.



Only problem in this is the money. And I'll miss all the classes in september, also the historical gardening class, which would've been fun. But I have a good reason to translate that 4th book of Aeneid that's missing from my degree. And I can go to Italy! Then I've been in six capitals of the world, London for England, Edinbourgh for Scotland, St Andrews for Fife, Paris for France and Barcelona for Cataluña! I'll be happy.
And even more, I bought a while ago a travel guide to Rome, now I can use it!

First I was jumping from happiness, then I started to laugh evil laughter to all of those wankers in classical philology department. They kicked me out by spreating evil rumors about me, and none of them was even accepted! I have been found unwanting!
I will join the ranks of elite group. Only selected few have been allowed to enter the walls of Finnish Rome / Athens Cultural Institute (not true, my whole class went to Rome when I was in Scotland). But they weren't chosen! Best of all, that fucking insect who drove me out of the department has applied many times and always rejected. She also applied many times to museology studies, was rejected and stop talking when I was chosen on my first try. Now it's going little too negative, forget that last bit.

And by the way, my strike is going surprisingly well, apart from this bloated tummy. Where the hell did she come from?

epic match; today, LIVE!

What the fuck? Norway's leading one goal, and now we made goal when I was writing this!??
FUUUCK! Okay, explanation, we had wine in our seminar today, liiittle bit tipsy. But really, we should have wine always, much better concversation, with one class more I've could've spoken something.
AAND ANOTHER GOAL! Game seems to be starting!
First Finnish Koivu furt himself, then Norwegian Koivu hurt himself. It's not cool that someone hurts, but it's quite funny...

continue***Finland is leading now, but again we have less players... Norway can't be good in ice hockey, it's already good in football!

ANND ONCE MOOORE! Quite annoying ,we only have superiority like a minute, when we make a goal!

Penaltie, penalties... good thing that Norway don't have as good a luck as we have...
AND AGAIN!! That was beautiful, LAJUNEN! Little ballet dancer! 4-1 to us!

And last break coming...



So.. we had last master seminar today before summer, I wasn't sure I wanted to go, because I had to write the fucking review of the book What is history now? I could make a summary, an analysis, an essay, but not a fucking review! AAARGH! And I haven't done my thesis, the professor wouldn't be happy... In the end I wen't just to avoid the review, and because there was supposed to be food. Little did I know, WIINE! I'm not a drunk, but I like not drunks but people who are drunk. And it was fun! Really anxious people, but in a positive sense. Of course there was cheese, I'm not into that, they were speaking that wine and cheese is a cultivated, civilized offering, and cake is quite like countryside, hillbillyish. I was laughing, indeed! I am from countryside!
At first I couldn't understand a thing and I had my own little party atthe end of the long table. But then they noticed I didn't have wine so they did a group effort to carry me some and then I wasn't laughing any more, because I started to understand. And it was white wine, which was good, I hate red one.

No goals in 3rd round, 4-1 to Finland!
But I'd like to congratulate Norway, excellent playing, Without your 0-1 goal we would not have been able to start fighting. You might have lost to us, but you won Sweden, the dream of all Finnish!

My 5(3) days of vacation

Continue... the story of Barcelona. I study spain and thought the trip would be really good change to practice. It seems easier than italian, since I love spanish music and there are countless spanish tv-series here. I even bought a dictionnary! Well, it didn't really work, all the time I spoke spanish, they answered in english. Maybe the reason was the official language, catalan! When I was in museum of history of catalunia and art of catalunia, all the texts were in catalan. In the history museum, the big texts were in english and spanish too, that reminded me about Finnish museums, which have texts in 3 languages also.



I felt also, that the 2 places where I've been, (forgetting the other places that don't fit into my theory), have quite similar history, though not identical, and quite close feeling of the mother state; that is Scotland and Catalunia. I must admit it was really big mistake to go to history museum on my final day, I would have got so much more out of the trip. Anyway, the both countries have really strong nationalism, due to several wars they have gone through. Cataluña has it's own distinct language and has had to fight for it, but as I understand the old country is divided between Spain and France, whereas Scotland is more coherent, I don't know, I'm just brainstorming...



Funny thing about that, my other french teacher is from Perpignon, and his mother tongue is catalan! He's also jewish whore born in Algeria, and now lives here speaking finnish. Only langue he seems to hate more than anything is english! He was also quite upset when hearing, that Germany has now more people than France, and when reminded of Switzerland, Austria and other minorities of german speakers he almost cried.



Back to Barcelona. It must be amaizing place in the summer! Only problem perhaps was that I really wanted to go to Madrid... Btw, I had the job interview to International Services just berofe leaving, I didn't get it. And no other job, yet. My sister's a cleaner, but she said that's bad firm to work, so I've no idea... That reminds me to apply some more today. That Cimo work in Paris or London embassy was closed on friday, totally forgot!!! It's so sad, but the most amazing city yet has been London. It's so boring, and if you know me, you would never think I would like it. Even I was surprised! I'm the kind of opera, castle, flower kind of girl, the most boring type. But as so many other clue, this just shows that nobody's so simlpe than you think. I was never afraid in London, maybe because I could understand all.



By the way, in barcelona most spoke french, then italian, maybe then spanish/catalan, the next would probably be finnish (nooo). I saw few people speaking swedish too and other scandinavian. The finnish that I saw was 2 people speaking on the phone to the 3rd on a dark, small alley the very 1st day, then a family in the art museum, who were too scared to go through the security (which was probably the only reason I desided to go inside, to show not all finnish are idiots) and 2 more, again at night, yelling drunkenly behind, so there was (or not) more Finns. All in all, too much tourists, but I spent time in tourist places...



Oookay... I completely lost the plot there... Sorry. I just human. But at least there's lots of pictures! For the final note, my quick recommendations: Parc Güell beautiful but really big, so good shoes. Museum of the History of Catalunia was big, great and free (for uni students). Museun ot Catalan art expensive but ticket was for 2 days, don't go on your last day like I, and get a friend with good sense of direction, it was those moders white box secret door museums.And not even in Scotland I saw one of these: fucking 3 litre's Vodka!!!

Problems in paradise

I've got my travel fever back, hurrah! Uno problema though. What the fuck, all the hostels require visa or master?!! In north Europe you don't have to pay anything before you arrive! I only have visa electron, that's why I must use Blue1 and not the cheap planes... This is going to be tricky. I'll be in Barcelona after 8 in the evening, depending how much the plane's late. Not a noce time to search a resting place. Another problem is, that every other reviewer claims a hostel is perfect, an other that it's crap. If a hostel has had bed bugs 3 years ago, is there any still? Especially if it's like 9€? One was the most perfect, but about 10km from centre... And what reservation machine is trustworthy? I've usually reserved straight to hostel, but in sweet Cataluña no hostel accepts bloody electron. And none of my family has visa! Bugger! But hey, it's not so cold in February, is it?



I was also at a meeting of teaching planning... meeting. There was 4 teachers and me. Quite weird... Bet they won't welcome me back! And tomorrow is our student organosation's meeting where I have to deliver my foundings. Greeat. Also tomorrow is a meeting of one contemporary history -course, of which lections I attented only once. I'm such a pro! The teacher loves me so much that he announced in front of the whole auditorium I won't get nice remarks. Well, he didn't say my name, but he looked at me. That what you get for taking a few (5) years off... I still hope I get like 3 or 4 out of 5, but I think it was fun just for his angered face!

And about my thesis, I almost got it finished to show it to the professor and seminar, but then I remembered how fucking amazing my bachelor thing was, and I haven't shown my face at the seminar since

Embarrasing dream

Very well. I'll tell it. T'was too embarrasing to tell to my friends, and even to the other protagonist of that dream, but maybe the whole world is trustworthy enough. The world is famous of it's sensitiveness.
Actually there's nothingh to tell, I know why I had it and it made me feel good, so so what?! I just went to the home of an italian girl and took my clothes of and then that girl came in, also without clothes, and then her possibly italian boy(friend) and then another boy. And the whole plot was for me to invent a good enough reason to explain my being in there, naked... Maybe the more embarrasing thing was to meet her today, they have a habit of hugging and kissing, fanntastic! No action in teh dream, alas.

The more ackward moment today: how to get out of a building, when the front door is crowded by a faculty, which you have cowardly abandonned? Classics are really scary people! There was a girl who came to ask me who to find another route, because she didn't want to pass them. Especially the alcoloh it their glasses was a sign of danger. One could have got a CIL on one's head! [=Thickest books mankind has created, could not find a picture.]

Speaking of thick books, I borrowed Sword Shannara Trilogy in one edition. Mistake! It's impossible to read in bead, it flattens one's head when arms get tired.

On Monday was Finnish Independence Day. I wondered a long time what would be better name for it. Birthday od Finland? No, Finland's like a thousand years older (than 93). Birthday of Republic? No, Governing was democratic from the end of all-Russian General Strike in 1906. Maybe birthday of independence? Finland wasn't united before Sweden occupied it in 13th century. That's it! Now that rings a bel... damned! That's the official name! Like I've said, University doesn't require brains!


The Miracle of Winter War, oh la la!

Short history of Finland: Stone Age: people from Ural mountains, then from germanic and Scandinavian tribes. Nice, tribal living until evil Sweden decides to make crusades and take Finland. Little slow livind as buffer against Russia until Napoleon wants Russia to attack Sweden, through Finland of course. 1809 Occupated by Russia, but actually gained autonomy which was never here during the Swedish! Then, Russian revolutions in 1917 and Independence through our Government on 6th of December. Then civil war. Quite funny, Independence is celebrated by Second World War movies! Victory over Russia strengthened our independence (or did it?...Kekkonen...) What was I trying to explain?

Finnish cultural tradition: unlike probably all other nations Finland celebrated independence day in a grave mood. War movies, military parades, candles to the grave of unknown soldier (of 2nd WW, first WW was civil war, too biased). One thing I like is 2 white and blue candles in window. Only again I noticed me living in too a leftist hippie and middle eastern area, my window was the only one with candles. I'm Finnish and I won't change my nationality. Finnish passport is good enough, actually at least better than some Norwegian Nato passport.



For the finish, I'll tell you that on Wednesday we went to Åbo Svenska Teater, The Swedish language Theatre in Turku to see les Miserables. Both me and my sister agree that Jean Valjean was shite, and Javert ( and Gavroche) stole the show. Cool in this is that I desided it before I knew that Valjean actor was Swedish! Don't know why they had to import singers from Sweden, maybe there's no male sopranos in Finland... Sorry, that was incredible racist! Shame on me! But why can't there be male sopranos, I'm tenor though I'm a girl. But Valjean was in his own class when considering looks. Finnish are a bit... Good musical, although our seats weren't the best our money DID buy and the scene was quite small. But at least we got to taste Finnishswedish Glamour!

School starts, blaah!

Dear reader, yes I'm still in school. I've been in school for 18 fucking years! And I want to get out! This is sick! Well, actually I'm not in school, I'm in university with lectures and everything "grown-up". Yeah, that worked the first years. Last year I made my Bachelor thesis and I'm absolutely exhausted! Never again!!! Unfortunately I still have my master's 10x longer thesis to do... and of course I'm sick of all the thinking and wondering and want to do something real, which means polytechnic or such and four extra years! Oh my God! I'll be 40 when I finish if I won't die of ulcer first...My mom says most of my problems are caused by thinking uni as school... says high school drop-out...



My plan is to do some shit this autumn and then search every place to find an apprendiceship. Tried last spring already, but didn't get any. Maybe I reached too high, tried to get in Finland's London and Paris cultural embassy, riiight, 3000 applicants... But one is certain, I can't study whole next year, this summer was again summer school. Plus I need money! Goverment student money ends in 6 months and then I have nothing and I must move home, where there's no jobs available.

To sum it all, I'm in shit. My mom's in shit, my grandmom and -dad are gone, this has been one sick summer. And I don't have any friends!!! Okay, don't go there again. You're own fault. Even my grandmother, the alive, asked my mother do I have a problen with her and the (now dead) grandfather, because I'm so scared of them to speak. Plus I wanted them to understand I was depressed when I wasn't speaking. Obviously didn't work... So in the end I'm alone. My mom always says everything will be ok, wait 6 months... HELP ME! Plus the girl who asked me to go to Europe, hasn't said anything after I answered yes please.



Everyone has these kind of days. This should clear the air, if not, it will be autumn soon, the season of new beginnings, new students and possibly friends, and most of all the incredible smell of autumn. My favourite season!

VA-CA-TION!!!

Hejsan!

Now is Sunday, two days after my last exam this spring. YESSS! Unfortunately I'm not very happy. This whole week was ruined by strange sickness that didn't hurt, only itched. Soo annoying! There wouldn't have been any problem except I was really scared. I pray it's over now and will never come back. It didn't affect my ability to study, but I just didn't feel like studying. I had passed that exam once before and then it was easy. In the end it was so close failing, but that was only because my nerves. It was Swedish oral exam and not only was I late but there was also another girl at the same time. She was speaking so well that I totally blanked. Couldn't understand a word! Luckily teacher just thought I was shy... Well I got mark 2 for it, from 4 the best and failure. I saw the list and most people got 2 as well so that was okay. And I never have to think Swedish again and I can graduate!!!

I practiced to the exam by reading Swedish magazines, a book (The lion, the witch and the wardrobe; 1st Swedish language book ever!) and watching Swedish and Finnish.Swedish tv-programmes and movies. Much more fun than thinking grammar. I actually started to think in Swedish! Especially I liked film called Tjenare Kungen, "God Save the King", which was about girls who wanted to become famous punk band in 80s' Gothenburg. Of course love gets into trouble, and for some weeks my favourite man looked skinny, even drug/boose abuser...



You have taken my heart, you my sister, my bride, you have taken my heart with just one glance.

Up a picture I made from Swedish film Arn Tempelriddaren "Arn -the Knight Templair". I haven't seen it but I have read the books. Actually same time that I read those books I read also DaVinci Code and saw movie National Treasure. Maybe that's why I dislike DaVinci Code so much even it normally that type books are my favourite. Same time I got three different explanations of Knights Templair, that I couldn't sink into that world. Well, it was stupid book in other ways also... And it there's not enough people haiting me, I will say that I hate Ursula Le Guin's books and Narnia is better that LOTR. Hahaa! When discussing of the last problem with my atheist friend, we found out that I don't like LOTR so much because there's no supernatural and my friend likes it exactly for that reason. But every other fantasy fan prefer the other one too! Well, I don't care. By maintaining my view I won't be a follower, a sheep. But really, when I spoke of the Earthsea thing I was nearly decapitated. Nerds are vicious!

Caledonian Dreams

Sunday boredom

Now it's sunday, mothers' day and all the shops are closed and it's raining and I don't have anything to eat. So... I saw a tv-programme, where people went to Wales. That Reminded me of Scotland. I lived there, on the east coast, for a year, but I never got to visit west coast, which is the more famous scenery of Scotland ( and the accent). I planned to take the Jacobite steam train from Fort Williams to Mallaig and I almost bought the tickets, but shit happens... It would have been so amaising!!!



Anyway, Jacobites are a wee interest of mine, I did some years ago a kind of stupid reseach paper on Jacobite rebellion's history through folk songs. It might have been good, if done better... However, I've just written my Batchelor's thesis which weared me out completely. I've been thinking with horror about time after summer when I have to start my master's thesis. But now, thanks to that stupid programme, I started waisting my sunday in researching.

I think Master's thesis is quite important in marking out one's special interests in future working life, and that's why I must write on something I really like, not just on something weird, ( like Batchelor thesis about 2nd WW Japan. Everybody keeps asking how I became interested about atomic destruction. How the fuck should I know?!!!) And I think, because I know languages, maybe I should think using them! I bought from Culloden a book about female Jacobites ( Damn' Rebel Bitches). And I have read a book about French Jacobite females. So why not write dissertation about Flora MacDonald and Charlotte Corday, the first saved Bonnie Prince Charlie after Jacobite defeat, the second murdered Marat, Jacobite leader in French Revolution. Actually tey are quite far fetched. Is there anything in common about the two Jacobite rebellions, except they happened at the opposing ends of the same century? Scotland and France were friends, but there still was that Enlightment in between them. Quite an obstacle. And of course Scottich were usually high class people, where French were bourgeois. I'm quite proud of finding Flora for my example. She was low class lass. (Scottish words!!!)




But I really should take some time off form thinking. I still have three books to read to one exam. When that's finished it's summer holiday!!! (except those summer exams which I should have done before...) What summer's gonna be like? I don't have any work, my friends (the one friend ) is going back to China, and I'm stuck in a shitty appartement far from city centre in a place where only first year students live. But with any luck I'll have a ball.

Above first there's a picture of highlands and the train, stolen from Westcoastrailways.co.uk. Next one's my own from Pantheon, Paris and the altar of republical idea.