I want

I want friends
I wannt closeness
I want kindness
I want fun
I want someone to ask what I've been doing
and to ask followup questions
I want to go dancing
I want a job
I want hope
I want reason
I want to be healthy
I want to be like everyone else
I want everything to be good again
I want mother to get work
I want mother to get friends
I want mother to stop going alone to Lapland
I want love
I want respect
I want someone to want my body
I want someone to want my mind
I want someone to want to be with me
I want someone to want to get coffee with me
I want someone to ask me to do something with them
I want someone to answer YES to my question
I want that someone to keep their promise
I don't want to be alone
I don't want to cry
I don't want to be depressed
I don't want to be scared
I don't want to stage like I've been out
I don't want to leave around empty beer bottles
which I've been pouring to the sink
or take my key off the door
and wake up early the next morning to put it back
I want to go out once a week
I want to talk to people at least 5 times a week
I want at least 2 groups of friends who don't know each other
I want to lose my virginity in some drunken night to very goodlooking and skillful bloke whoI won't ever see again
I want to have at least 3 boyfriends before I get engaged
I want someone to contact me saying they
admire my work and would I work for them
I want to live in old stone building in city centre,
the kind of building in which everyone want's to visit me
I want people to understand I may not be beautiful but my dimples are the cutest in the world
I want them want to surprise me
I want them to remember stuff about me
I want them to care about what's happening to me
I want them to call me

I sogni autunni

Oh my goodness it's a long time not to have written! But there's an explanation; I've been busy! Yes, had few exams, planning next year's curriculum and acting a good tutor for exchange students. God it's exhausting! But like I always tell everyone who complain, there's a choise in everything. I could stop helping other people, but I rather run up and down and be their servants than sit at home and play computer games. Like job hunting. I'm not allowed to complain not finding work, because I could work in telemarketing or like that any time I want. I just choose rather be unemployed! My sister got work as a cleaner, with her law master degree. I couldn't do that. One, I hate those rubber glowes they have to use. Two, I don't have work experience (they rather employ immigrants). Three, I'm a humanist, the most useless profession there is. And four and five, I really don't want to be a cleaner even if I could get the job, and how humiliating it would be to apply and not to get it!


Must think something more interesting to write... I don't have much good news, everything seems t oget worser and worser. But for some reaso I feel much more hopeful and bright than a year ago. I'm gonna fight not to have as bad a year than last year. Good sign was when I asked one friend to come to a fest with me and she said yes!!! I'm not hopeful, people usually turn me down at the last minute, but at least I god a week to feel happy! And one boy who I have never liked much smiled at me, I don't know was it because I felt so happy and smiled brightly at him or what ever, but it made me walk on cloud nine the rest of the day! And still I'm smirking!



Here's an autumn picture, it's still quite summer here, but you can smell the autumn already. It's my very favourite season! When it's cold outside but you wear warm clothes so you feel alive, but not cold. Yesterday I walked to sit by the river. It's quite long way when my bike is broken, but it really was worth it <3<3<3.