Good night!

Antoni Cepi, in Elisa di Rivombrosa. Performing a role of mysterious English captain Christian Grey. Couldn't find a picture with the pretty uniform... But found out he's actually Canadian, with italian parentage. First thought when he shoved hinself in camera was, that he looks more like Sicilian than English, he's so dark, oh god he's dark.........
The funniest thing about him is that when he looks surprised or smiles (or over acts) he looks exactly like, dare I say it, Russell Brand. That's a guy that really doesn't do it for me...



...What more can I say...

Summering

It's such a long time since I've written, that's because I haven't had anything to write. Nothing much has happened... I've just been here and studied, went home for 3 days and did nothing... Midsummer went quite nicely, no parties in my neighbourhood so no depression about being alone. Everything's pretty much dot dot dot...

But something begins tomorrow. Work! I'm absolutely horrified. Not the main work, I hope I can manage museum keeping, but the lace week. I'll be working in Rauma, one of Unesco's world heritage site, in which every year there's lace week the last week of july. This year they have italian lace from italian town Offerto. I've understood, that there will be coming mayors or really high people to Rauma and I must speak italian, because they can't speak English. I can't speak italian!!! I've studied 3 years intensively and some independent courses and I can deal erasmus students, but how the hell can I translate conversations?! I'm not an interpretor! I've watched programme called Elisa di Rivombrosa all summer, and I understand that, but I'm really good at reading pictures. Scared, scared, scared... Luckily it's only 5 days, still 3 weeks time to practise...



But tomorrow work. The payment is fantastic 900€ a month before taxes, with 400 to rent and 370 to bus. Greeat. But at least I'll get work experience.
Tomorrow I'll see, what's it like. But now I go to Medieval market, which is here in Turku every year. There's usually always same stuff, for me a bit boring, but now I know there's a friend of mine there and maybe I can boast with my Italian trip, she applied as well and didn't get in! I can't pay money from the exhibitions of food and fancy jewellerys and swords, but at least sometimes one can see little plays and even your friends performing!

And some news of my love life. My sister has a friend who seems pretty awesome. He reads fantasy books from children's library, as do I! I've spied him in fb and dating site, and actually that's when I first got interested in him. There was a profile of a guy, who wanted a girl to have coffee, or tea, or chocolate milk with him. Chocolate!!! And only after that I heard that was the friend. He's quite nice looking, a bit boring like models usually are (he's not a model, but a law student). Aaanywhoo, my sister started to hint, that she had had discussions with her friends that I and some guy would be really good (or really annoying) together and that they would want to make us meet each other. She didn't say who she was talking, but, really it doesn't matter, I'm up to any guy and I so happy that people are talking about me, that I not entirely unpresentable. All in all, I've been waiting that meeting ever since, and it probably not even gonna happen, but I still wait for it. And that fucking Angelo from Elisa series... Lately I've had such a pleasant dreams!

Lysistrate, that is perseverance of mind

This habit of mine, crying in every occasion when something happy happens in a book/film, is really getting out of hands. That's why I desided to start a strike or a fast against all romantic, erotic and so on literature and films and especially thought. It's going to be really tough even if it's only one week. I was dying on Easter when I had to be 4 days without masturbating, and even tougher a week ago, when we figured out that the ice hockey team of which country's music I listened always won. Fucking Basshunter kept going on in my head all weekend... It's easier to not actually do something, but with music on one's head you have to actually stop your thoughts! Horrible... But I did it! I listened Finnish music for 3 days and we won!!!


Here's the book that inspired my stike. Tapestry of Fionavar, IloveitIloveitIloveit!

So it's going to be hard week for me. After I made the decision, I tried to think something else to think. What do people think? Gosh, they have to think something, it's not possible for all the world to think sex 24/7... I hope my fasting will help me in two ways. Maybe I learn not to connect every male into a possible lover, and maybe my stopping to be desperate will bring them to me! Anyway it'll help me not to get so upset not to have a boyfriend and spoil every happy moment with thinkig how much better it could be.


No more this for me; He Knew He Was Right will stay on shelf until Sunday...

Another problem. When I was walking I started to think what does my fast contain. Only movies and books, or also thoughts? And only erotic/romantic movies or all from which I have out of place thoughts? What about music which makes me euphoric? Basically do I deny everything that makes me feel good? Well, I looked at my tummy and decided to add to the list NO CHOCOLATE for one week, except one bar to last for one week (cold turkey doesn't work for me). And jogging so long until my feet give up, it feels good and I don't have energy to think rude thoughts.

Will be nice first holiday (unemployment) week!

recent movies for me

Sunday, that blessed resting day! What resting day? I've so much to do for next week, I had to deside to study some french today. Only it's past 8 pm already and I haven't begun!Sundays are always really strange for me, I never get much done, that is in the movie scheme. I mean today I had lots of movies to watch, but only got through 2! First I woke up 11:ish, showered, and started to watch Notebook, then made lunch, and wached Superbad, and spoke with my sister and mother on the phone and then it was 6 already! WTF?!!!

Some notes on the movies. I've understood that Notebook is really famous movie, they've even made a verd out of it in One tree hill. For me, well, the ending was lovely and Ryan Gosling is a-ma-zing (especially with the beard, quite a change of mind to my 15 year old self), but really for me the story was about the old couple and Ryan and Rachel MacAdams (whom I don't like, don't know why, mayde because she's quite ordinary with a dimple, quite like me but famous) were just some extras. I gotta be honest, I was waiting a little more passion and twists, maybe I have to watch it again. Anyway, I was watching and thought oh they must have started dating after the movie, Ryan was so gorgeous, and wikipedia told me that they did!



The other movie, Superbad, was supercute! The polices were fantastic! And the movie wasn't violent or disgusting like usual american comedies, can't think any example except Home Alone, and Not another teen movie (which is quite funny). Nobody got hurt, they got girlfriends or smth, and the movie was about the friendship of two guys, so cute! And I saw quite many Knocked Up actors in it, which was hilarious. Knocked Up wasn't such a good film, it was waaayyy too long.


One guy to check up I saw in Midsomer Murders. The man is mark Umbers whom I've seen in Good Woman, (which is a fantastic movie with Stephen Campbell Moore too) and in Mistresses and in some others. Only problem with him is that he's most handsome with serious face, and I hate people who don't smile! Really, it would be awful to have to make my husbant really angry in order to feel attracted to him...



Mark is better looking but 12 years older than me, whereas Ryan's only 5 years older... I'm allowed to think like this because I oppose the common thought that goodlooking people should date only each other and ugly people their own kind. One on my very good friends told me to lower my expectations, because there are less cute boys who like girls like me than ordinary ones. I'm sorry, but there has been cute boys liking me, besides people turn handsome if you like them. So fuck off!

Gli uomini...

I've been watching the last 2 days an italian tv-series Capri. I know that italians don't care about it much, but I think it's funny. I think it has the same thing than los serranos and Mi gorda bella etc. latina shows; we finnish are sooo strict and introverted that we looove those fiery mediterraneans! (BTW the real reason I went to bcn, no luck there! Only place I've been lucky is London. Why is it that I love Lndon so much?)

Now Ive been watching Capri terza stagione with Carolina, who is incredibly beautiful with her new hair, and Andrea, who has the most stupid beard ever, but also something that makes my feet oh so weak. It's tme middle of the night and I just had to watch all the episodes from last week, so I wouldn't be distracted tomorrow. Next episodes coming next week. Maybe I watch them on weekend again, so I can have true catharsis. Meoow!


(totally unrelated picture of a miserable attempt of smores)

It's really funny, when I walked just now to kitchen and started to clean, with wicked smile on my face. I've never been more miserable than the last few years, but I can't recall any situation that I've been more happy when I was still living at home. Weird, isn't it? You can't have one without the other. On the other hand, nothing is more boring than sit at a pub with your friends talking shite, or listening them talking, because you just couldn't care less about shite. And at home you grin like mad after watching some goofy italian beard guy. Disgusting!

Anger management... and a wee bit of luuv

Gosh I was angry on Wednesday! The reason for this: unbearable disappointment and feel of rejection. I've been asking my sister to go to abroad with me for years, but she never has money. When I finally got our mother to understand that my head's blowing if I don't get a holiday, she promised to give money to her. But apparently travelling with your sister requires a sister fee, 'bout 10 000 €. (yes, and mother disappointed me too, promising to go before christmas, at christmas and after, lying of course). And now my sister had the nerve ask me to meet her so she can tell me about her plans to go travelling with her friend! As I've always said, if you want to do something, money or time is no object. She ovbiously didn't want to go with me but was too scared to say it to my face. I've heard this before, from my friends. Maybe I'm a little fiery when angered, but I would think it's much better to face little anger now than torture the other sometimes for years, because the anger will only grow. One thing I can't stand is cowardice, especially if people lie about you behing your back when they are too scared to speak their own mind. (Thank you Eveliina for destroying my friendships, place in our student union and my self confidence, still hasn't recovered). Cunts.

So I decided to take a break from people, at least for 2 weeks. And I WILL GO on our break week at the beginning of march. SO MAKE SURE I GO! If you want to do something, you have to do it yourself. Fuck others. I just saw a "good" friend. She said to me, we should meet someday of some coffee or something. I replied (of course behind her back cause I'm a coward) Yeah right, I'm sure.



Back to the real subject of my writing. I watched today Los Serranos tv-series, and was stunned by the happiness I felt while listening it's theme uno mas uno son siete. That was really happy summer when I listened it for the first time. Too bad I couldn't remember the year. Is it so long since I've had a happy summer? Another thing: I listened today some Phantom of the Opera music, and then I listened the song All I ask of you. Oh My God! ven greater memories. I've probably told about the one boy on my class. This is what happened: I listened this song at home, nad then left to the party of his. There one girl sung quietly a song, which I recognised as being the phantom. I of course joined, not very wel because I didn't know the lyrics. We went to a bar and came back, me sleeping at his place, ON THE SOFA, you perverts! Then I walked home in slush and sung All I ask of you, and then I walked back to city centre to buy eye shadow to my sister which I had broken. Never did I knew he would call me the next day... But anywho, I have really warm feelings towards that song than I had when I fell in love with it the first time.
Am I or am I not manic-depressive?!!!



Raoul, way more macho than that cape guy!

Autumn Fever

Yes, unfortunately it's true. Might have known that the moment I read the word autumn break in calendar I get sick. I only wish I'm ok tomorrow, I was supposed to go visit home... When I lived with mother or when she visited me all that was needed was a bottle of our own black currant juice and health returned. I bought last year factory made juice and it was awful! Don't you think it's horrible that when you have a cold you feel sick and every remeby, juice, the, fruits, eucalyptus stuff for throat and nose, they are all so sweet and then you truly feel sick! Few years ago I found heavenly food, Knorr chicken and noodle soup and toast. But they don't sell that in Finland, only that disgusting slimy thing.

Another fever I had a while ago, that is two quite adorable males lost their girlfriends. I mean, am I not allowed to rejoice of their unhappiness? Strangely enough, the other, living here, was quite bright looking when meeting me... I think I would answer differently would he ask again. Although, I have had numberless phone calls recently. The other guy, well he's my cousin so there's nothing strange there. I heard every girl is in love with their cousins. By the way, he looks exactly like Mark Feehily form Westlife. Another cousing looks like Backstreet Boys' Brian. Lord I'm lucky! I've never met his girlfriend but I've seen her picture in Facebook and she's old and quite ugly. Good riddens for bad rubbish! After a week/2 weeks he's now hooked again, with the same girl, what a tragedy!!!

But anyway, if you who sent me a text 3-4 years ago would send one again I still wouldn't answer but if you would come to get me, I would come. I wouldn't have changed my mind but I might be little less scared. I still think I would be perfect for you, don't mess with those adolescent girls. At least now I've been practising, and with French men no less!



An article in the museum studies notice board. Translation of finnish: "I want to become a museum curator".