Alea iacta est

It's finally here, the wailing update! For a while now I've been feeling pretty bad here, since the other guys are always watching movies or something together and I'm never invited. I've hoped, already in the last course, that it's because I live here in isolation in upper most room. However, none other living here has any problems, so it's me. I got to say I'm really hurt I'm never invited. First I thought it was onlybecause you should be in the kitchen and they invite everyone there, but one time I and other guy were in kitchen and he got invitation, not I. I went there any way, and it was quite shit. Horrible being somewhere where you haven't been invited.



Last week we did a trip to Campania. It was exhausting. First it was shit, then fine, then again shit. Why can't it be shit all the time, so I could just give up?! We had to live 3 persons in one room, 2 in another. What a surprise, I was isolated with that weird girl, who isn't any way more weird than I, but I still want better, I deserve all I can get. I thought they should've ask us what we want to do, but of course if they want to be together, they should. In Naples we were isolated from others in another corridor, and I was so scared we wouldn't be asked to do anything with them. But at Salerno we were opposite the boys, and still they climed to upper floor to be with the other girls without knocking our door. We were the "good girls", who shouldn't be messing with the others.



Yesterday we made plans in Capitolium museums to meet at 1 pm to have lunch. Us two waited 20 minutes, when I got an sms to say they went to lunch and if we wanted we should follow them. I "knew" (in my sick mind) that there was something afoot, but the other girl, so innocent, didn't think anything weird and wanted to follow. Apparently they'd being eating quite a while when we got there, the one girl just said oh, sorry about that. Fucking cunts. And yesterday they went all out to eat together, without us two, and today to see the new pope. I think at least the pope is so big a deal they should've asked us.




The problem with the other girl is, that she, for some reason, when we stand in a circle, moves in fornt of me, pushing me out of the circle. I don't know if the others even notice it, at least no one does anything. I could always try to find a new hole to go into, but that would mean I should bring something to the ring, but I just take. I can't speak. Now maybe I should abandon any hopes I've had about getting friends and start living full life alone. But yet I rather stay here than go back home being totally alone. Here at least some people say chiao for me.



Weather isn't really cheering me up. First picture is from trip back from Etruria, second a picture from my room, third is from Cosa, and last, a little sunshine, from Ravello in Amalfi coast.

When in Rome, drink what the Romans drink

I'm again in Rome, I didn't die on the way in here! I had two bad lucks, and so I was waiting for the 3rd, which happened quite early so I didn't have to be afraid the whole day. Firstly, I gained a body security check on the airport. With clothes on. I'm so embarrased, but my thights have experienced so unexisted action, that I would be happy to get the check again, as soon as possible thank you.
Secondly, I got again this shitty room, but it's ok, they have finally put on the radiator. Unfortunatelly the internet is bad here. Waiting for the 3rd unlu ckiness didn't last long, for when we went to grocery store and restaurant, I forgot my money and had to start borrowing money. And it continued few days on...



I started a new way of living: never think the next day. That meant no refusal of alcohol. It didn't take until the second day when I learned the lesson the hard way. First we had welcome drinks at the head of institut's flat, I have never said no to sparkling wine, so I had like 3 at least. Of course I hadn't eaten so I could eat the welcome dinner. At the restaurant I had few white wines. The situation wasn't helped by the director, who liked a drink and liked the people next to her to drink too.



Of course I followed the others for a drink into a place, where at first we had to wait a minute outside the door, which was then slammed at our face (what were they hiding?...). I wanted to go because it was my first experience with water pipe. It was also my last, because I became really sick and left early (like 12pm!). I somehow got myself to institut without problems, by talking to the girl who wanted to go to sleep,but here I begun to empty my stomack in the toilet and then in my room. It could've been food or alcohol poisoning, but I blame the tobacco. Nice night cleansing of toilet and quickly perfume before the others returned. Luckily it saved me from hangover. The only good thing.



No surprise I passed vine the next day, except the delicious risotto we made. But today I desided to join the wagon again, we ate at an Etruscan area, at Vulcii in a countryside restaurant, whatever they called it, and had wild pork with pappardelli. We had local vine, red, which was my choise, was apparently not so good, little do I know, all reds taste like shit, but they don't give a headache like white. At the end we were asked about coffee (espresso). I said yes, because I wanted to drink something. Then we were given digestive, restaurant's own amaro, which tasted little like licquirice (how the hell do you write it) and I liked it very much. First experience, some didn't like it, so maybe it wasn't good. Unfortunatelly I hadn't noticed the limoncello at the other end of the table, and it being my favourite, I had that too. No problem yet...



Tomorrow we have free time, or library working. I thought of going to buy Italian grammar and some book, if its not going to rain. These books in here are boring. Now I've been watching Persuasion 2007(?) and its music videos.

The year 2012

I saw my friend making a listing of her year, and I thought to do the same. Although I'm not sure if its going to be a bit too dark...

January:
Well, the exchange girls came, I saw only one, who was nice. In the end they kept in contact only when in trouble, so I decided to stop tutoring. I started as a president, which was scary as hell, because the former one, on whom I had trusted to help me, made a disappearance act.

February:
I redid some exams, and I moved a friend, that I actually hate, to her new apartment in order to return to the friend zone. It didn't work, however. Her new apartment is so far away and I'm so scared of people, that it didn't seem worth to go so far just to peek through the window. Also my sister, at whose place I could've slept, wasn't home.

March:
Sometime this time I had my 2 job interviews. First one went ok, I didn't get it, second was that horrible group interview, during which the leader didn't watch me in the eyes after handshake. Well, I've met her before, and she reeally has something against my looks, probably. Maybe she has tried to straighten her hair all her life and just boiled over seeing my straight hair.

April:
Vappu. I asked my Croatian friend to come with me, and she came! Only problem, she wanted to go home for the night. Also I did my thesis presentation, which went so wrong I couldn't even have guessed. I asked my teacher to give me heads up, because I panic, and she betrayed me, she threw me to the wolfs, she being the queen of the wolfs.

May:
Farewell party! The first time after Scottish 2009 spring that I ended up into a bar! And it was great, although she danced hours, and I had my slippery shoes. In addition I did my Spanish exam and only then heard it was my last Spanish, I was in shock. I had studied it only few short years!

June:
I studied, trying to survive on the icy balcony. I thing its really unfair, that on this building the southern balconies were empty and still I'm not allowed to change apartments. Also this was the first time I've done anything during the Midsummer night's eve. I walked with my friend, although, once more, she wanted to go home for the night. Also we had our Dark Ages Fare, after which my friend hugged me loooong and left back to Croatia.

July:
A surprise visit! My friend from Scotland, Belgian girl came to Finland and wanted to see me. Problem was that she under estimated the distances. Yes, I know that it took you only 6 hours to drive to your cabin, but it will take me 24 hours on a bus you see there's surprisingly no straight bus lines to the "grand northern forest". And yes, in Finland we have more than one forest, can you please say the name of the nearest town... Well, we decided to meet in Helsinki, the duration was to last 20 minutes in MacDonalds, the train cost me 30€, but no biggies...
The good thing was that I visited National Library and got some books, which I still haven't read.

August:
I was at home picking berries and making juice to last the whole winter, I didn't know I wouldn't be home the whole winter... Also I had studied the whole summer for the French entrance exam, but did the Italian one and got in. Shite!

September:
Went to a job interview into a fastfood restaurant, and didn't get the job. How sad is that! So I decided to study, study, study...

October:
I was already behind in studying. Italian is soo difficult. I have no change to make my thesis.

November:
My student society is falling apart because of our 10 years anniversary. My so called friend decided to open up on the public email. This wasn't the first time I've regretted asking her to join us. But fortunately our yearly society meeting went well and we even got ourselves a new board!

December:
Our anniversary party was amaazing! I could talk the whole time, I could change groups and still there was no problem. Even with boys! The sparkling wine didn't help my studying the next day. Exams came and went, some well, some so bad I can't even tell... And Christmas holiday; 10 days without studying, a heaven. Once again atmosphere was bad, and people were sick, but whatever.